He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Mom said you looked used
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
