I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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