I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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