I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
