My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
