oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it because I queefed?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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