I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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