I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize