Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize