The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
