porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
