his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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