I want to stick my p in your. b.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Are we still banned from the library?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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