Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
