I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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