4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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