I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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