She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
