the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize