You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
