I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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