Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
