Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
