Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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