By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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