All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
