Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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