watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
