We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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