I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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