Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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