Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
