It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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