Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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