I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
