no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
