God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
