My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
