im holly from the hills drunk
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize