Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
