what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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