I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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