I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
