Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
