I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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