being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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