apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
