Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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