I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
