we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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