you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
