ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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