He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
