Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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